More classic quotes from Winston Churchill

The previous quote of the day reminded me of so many classic Winston Churchill quotes.

 

"Many forms of Government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time."

 

Lady Astor (1st female member of parlament): "Sir, if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your tea."
Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband, I'd drink it."

 

Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course...
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Churchill: Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.

 

Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

 

Young man (after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands): At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet.
Churchill: At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands.

 

"If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons." Speech after the German invasion of the Soviet Union (June 1941)

 

"I only believe in statistics that I doctored myself."

 

"Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you."

 

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

 

"When I warned them (French) that Britain would fight on alone whatever they did, their generals told their Prime Minister and his divided Cabinet, 'In three weeks England will have her neck wrung like a chicken...'  Some chicken; some neck!"

 

"He looks like a female llama who has been surprised in the bath" On Charles De Gaulle

 

"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it."

 

"I am prepared to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

 

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

 

"A nation trying to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to pull himself up by the handles."

 

"Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed."

 

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."

 

"There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result."

 

"We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm."